I’m learning as I go through life, especially the Motherhood chapter, that it can take over if you don’t set limits and boundaries as well as some organization. In order to do this saying “No” is a big lesson I’ve had to learn. These are the hardest things to do when you’re a people pleaser and perfectionist like myself.
I’m really big on volunteering my time as much as possible and I did just that in my single and before kid years. Now I’m realizing my volunteering needs to be curbed and I have to be choosy with my time. With that said I use to do 3 charity walks a year and now I’m down to one, and I’ve even missed it the past two years. Volunteering for fund raisers is now time spent in and around my community when possible.
I was so overwhelmed the first year my son was in school the amount of request that came home needing money for one thing or another. Money for lunch or recess milk is weekly, but there’s also Market Day, raising money for the closest children’s hospital, book fair, Jump Rope for the Heart, and the list goes on. I quickly learned that I didn’t have to send money in every time and that was ok.
Donations for outside sources is yet another challenge. I would love to give to every charity that I get a phone call from or mail from, but it’s not possible. It’s so hard to say “no” especially to the Indiana State Police when they call, but I know if I give once they will call more often and want more.
I’m now involved in the community more than ever, but I realized this year I was overextending myself. I decided to resign from one particular commitment I had accepted before the stress of keeping up took over. Thankfully the resignation was well received. Phew!
I’m learning that saying “No” is a needed word in my vocabulary, and even though it feels terrible to say at first it does wonders for the self confidence and respect from others.
When do you struggle to say “No?”